🔮 Originality characterises him best. The intelligence he sometimes shows will make you perceive him as truly unique, but at the same time, it will make you feel special alongside him. He likes to be surrounded by nature even while thinking about work. He will seem like the perfect man to you, precisely because the perfect man is the one who can stand by your side when real life gets too difficult to handle. At the same time, you will learn from this man that there is no difference between friends and lovers. He learned how to remain calm in various situations, how to meditate, to have patience, how to test people in his life before keeping them close.
I could see that he is a man with a true sense of morality and responsibility. He is very punctual and never likes to play immature games in a relationship and stays away from drama. He sets great goals and the difficult steps to achieve them intrigue and challenge him. Although he is a discreet person, he has the kind of personality that always attracts people’s attention. With him you will feel inspired and full of motivation. He will make you feel like you can have the whole world at your feet and that anything is possible. He will constantly encourage you when you have your morals on the ground and he will love to pamper you. He will try to ward you off from worries and problems as he has some solid moral principles from which he does not depart. He prefers to relax by reading books on various topics, he loves nature walks and has a weakness for pizza and lasagna.
He likes strong women, but not too serious, so he appreciates a sense of humour, as well as emotional maturity. He will try making you aware of the perfect woman in you often and give you hints on how to reach your full potential. He will help you have a much easier internal dialogue with yourself because he loves the feminine side in life. He will always be grateful to have met you, but you also have to take the steps necessary to show him what he means to you. His friendships and relationships, in general, are genuine and authentic and he will love to see that you are the same type of person with similar moral values.
I did my first Lenormand readings yesterday. It was rad as hell. I have some readings done for me in the past and have fiddled with a few books but the theory is nothing like the practice! I am pleased with the outcome! If anyone wants to be my victim, erm, test subject let me know!
I sent Eirik a message & asked if he was okay. It has been far too long since the last time I have heard from him & the last conversation I had from him he was very down.
He has not replied (it was 10 hours ago) but! I did see that he was online so I know he is okay. I finally broke down and took him out of my contacts list. If he could not be bothered to say that he was alive and well, he clearly does not care that I am concerned. I need to leave him alone. I know he is okay. I cannot do anything to help him. He does not want me around.
so I am gone.
I need to learn my lesson this time and stay away.
So, a few hours after I took him off my list, I got these messages:
I was talking to someone else when I got them. I saw them come over the video screen and I was surprised.
It dawned on me that I am always looking at what I bring to the table but never what anyone else has in front of them.
Why am I the only one that has to produce anything to be worthy?
So, I give everything yet I am not allowed to make any rules nor am I allowed to bounce when I have had enough? I have to forgive and forget but what the hell do I get out of it?
My history has a nasty way of repeating itself.
Elokuu, life – and I shall join in. I release these patterns so I can plant new seeds (we know plants grow differently under the moonlight). I am reminded that I am feel most alive at night. I will inhale the moon’s light and exhale the name of something that no longer suits me but I am still grateful for.
I am a child of the world. I am a child of the Moon.
I posted this on the eye, but I wanted to say more about it here. I never know how public is public there – at least here I can see how often my words are being looked at.
“Under the glorious full moon, I forgive everything, everyone, every experience, every memory of the past or present that needs forgiveness. I forgive positively everyone. I also forgive myself of past mistakes. The Universe is love, and I am forgiven and governed by love alone. Love is now adjusting my life. Realising this, I abide in peace.
I bring love and healing into all of my thoughts, beliefs and relationships. I learn my lessons and move on. I call on my soul fragments to be cleansed by the Full Moon and I call on them to rejoin me. I send love to myself and everyone I know, and everyone who knows me, in all directions of time. Under this glorious Full Moon, I am healed. My life is healed. And so it is. So be it.”
As I sit in this smoky room (from burnt paper and incense) I cannot help but feel pacific. I will put on my wool coat and my docs and chase the clouds down, hoping to get a view of the moon – three months in a row she has been hidden and I miss her glow.
Happy solar eclipse, moonbeams. May your journey to the new moon be crystal.
I deactivated my okcupid again. While I was out, last night, someone recognised me and asked me why I did not reply to him. That freaked me right the hell out.
Fun fact about Edinburgh: I have received the most messages from men here than any other city. I do not pay for my account and still I had more than half of the profiles that came up were accompanied with a message. The only other city that came close was Helsinki and that was 1/4 of the profiles.
Being single in this city does not seem so bad 😉
The Pagan Festival was stressful as shit. There was a talk by Bob Plimer that was interesting but the rest of it short circuited my introverted brain.
All-in-all, I managed to get quite a bit of research done for my shop’s inception. Tomorrow I am off to London. I am not sure I am ready for the pouty, hurried, black suits of the underground but I go where the adventure says I must.
And the next stop is home (hurray!).
I am overwhelmed and need some compression time. I started crying a few minutes ago and realised staying in tonight was in my best interest (even though it is my last night here).
I shall bury my nose in a book and hope for a few extra hours of sleep. My train is early.
There are six jobs that I am qualified to do with no further education. There are dozens of other jobs I could do with no education or training – this was pointed out to me in the meeting I had with the commune last week. Opening my own business is “asking for failure”. I could just “save that money and live off of it while finishing law school”.
It is daunting.
I am okay with failing. I am not okay with giving up before I have even tried. This meeting sent me off the deep-end last week but my visit with the abyss was beneficial.
I do not like being told what I cannot do.
I contacted BR at lunchtime and asked for his advice. He has put me in a direction that, for the moment, does not require vodka.
“What other reasons besides money?”
-It would be mine.
-I can work around my family and not need to get permission to take leave to care for them.
-I can travel when the wanderlust calls.
-My freak flag can wave proudly instead of collecting dust under my desk, only to come out on Halloween.
-I can tend to my introverted/empathic nature.
-It is something that I am passionate about.
As I sit and think of the possibilities, my head feels like I am trying to fire a sigil. WHAT ABOUT THE COMMUNITY? You could help raise awareness about xyz. LOCAL ARTISTS, MELINDA! THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THIS HERE, FILL THE VOID.
Okay, I think I have failed this assignment. help.
commune appointment yesterday was a lot more than I bargained for.
I have a financial meeting in a few hours.
then I have to plan the trip to visit shops to mould my business model around.
Paul got sassy with me yesterday & I ended the day feeling defeated. no, overwhelmed. business is not my thing, I have been here before & I can do this & I can do it well but I have never done it completely alone.
Atlanta still looks like my best choice but London is a close second.
I will decide this weekend… after this appointment & some sleep. I am not feeling very joyful or optimistic about any of this after yesterday & what is the point of doing it if I am not enjoying myself? I know there is hard work to be had, starting a business is hell but yesterday was Paul being Paul and I let it get to me. I was feeling anxious already & I forgot how he gets. I let my guard down & I paid the price for it.
People never change that much. They might want to, truly, but understand they are who they are.