I do not usually share stories from my children’s life here but due to the circumstances, I think this needs to be said:
My eldest son was in a relationship with someone that was putting him through an emotional rollercoaster. All and all she appears to be a nice human but something is off about her.
She faked her kidnapping and put my son through such emotional trauma that I cannot put into words here. He cares deeply for her and why she decided to put on such an act is beyond me.
He gave her as much attention as he could (more, if I am honest. She was harassing him and causing a scene while he was at school). Every moment of every day needed to be about her.
She followed him everywhere he was online – even all his family members and some of my friends. I did not think much about it. I realised that LDR can be taxing.
And well, she is 14.
As time went on, she became more and more possessive. His behaviour became withdrawn and he was very depressed.
I asked him why he continued if she made him so unhappy. He said that she did not have anyone else and he family was horrible to her. I understood this, I have been in his situation.
I told him to make his best judgement but to put up better boundaries.
She blasted through them with this.
I contacted the local police with this situation. I sent them the screenshots. This alleged kidnapper was raping her and threatening to, “take off her face”.
It was torture what she was doing to him.
It was recommended to report her to the platform that they were chatting on as well. This is cyberbullying.
They are both children.
Take note, those that think they know what bullying is: getting a message to take care of your responsibilities is NOT bullying. It might feel like it because you are being called out on your shit.
Also notice the balance of power. If you are using someone’s love for you against them, it is certainly coercion.
People overuse the term too often – crying wolf, if you will. In this case, my son was compelled into weeks of unfair treatment because he thought he was doing the right thing.
In comparison, I was accused of tyrannising someone because I asked him to do what was just and when he did not, I told my side of the story.
Not bullying. Not even close. He held all of the cards. I was expected to bow my head and disappear into the shadows like everyone else did.