There are several charities that help the victims of the rape themselves, but the children are often overlooked.
The children often grow up angry at the rapist for abusing the the parent that raised them. The inability to understand why the abuse happened in the first place – how could someone harm the person they love the most in the world?
If they get to meet their biological missing parent, the anger they have is often confusing and sometimes consuming.
As a parent of a child of sexual assault, I know this story well.
And as a child of statutory rape, the cycle continues.
My father was more than 20 years older than my mother.
The men in my life think is okay to sleep with me while I am non-responsive.
I have wondered what it is like for the child to grow in my body.
I do not gain weight. I am under constant stress. I am either always asleep or always awake. This time around I have been shaking and ticing so much that it feels like seizures but only in my face and wrists and hands.
I am so paranoid waiting for someone to harm me or one of my existing loved ones.
I do what I can to keep my chin up but the amount of cortisol running through my body has to have a negative effect.
And when you see your abuser in public trying to maintain your composure is nearly impossible.
Gathering resources for children that will be adults like me is important. They did not ask to be born into these less than ideal situations.
I know this year’s Valentine’s Day line-up is different than what I have previously done. Healing is on a lot of our agendas.
Loving a child created by rape is not a straight path. The child is not the issue – the reminder of how they were created is. You know you will never have their family to help support you. You know that any financial help you get will be done by the court, not because they care about you or the child. You are both a burden to the abuser’s life.
Imagine that for a second – THEY abused YOU and you are a burden to them.
They should apologise and do what they can to make things right because good humans do that but no, they pretend like you are the problem.
You. Are. The. Problem.
I am amazed by this logic.
Being human is complicated. Thank goodness for people that go to school to be therapists.