Last night I went to the gym and ran until I could not move my legs. When I got off the treadmill, the floor underneath me was moving like jello. That has never happened to me before. I ran like I was running towards something glorious. I was smiling, nearly laughing at some periods of time. I was delirious, no doubt. I was half-dancing, half-prancing like I was a joyful deer in the first mornings of the summer listening to the birds sing songs and the other woodland creatures about having a delightful go at it. Nothing could be sweeter than my gallop, listening to something electronic and loud as I moved the speed faster and faster and the sweat just poured off of me. More, I thought. You can fly, you know.
Faster I went.
Every cell in my body woke up. My head started to throb but I kept running.
And the smile on my face grew.
I snapped back into my body at 8.3 and I shook. Where this piece of me was all of this time, I do not know. To say I feel “whole” is cliche and does not fit what I am trying to explain.
The loneliness I have been feeling has been so deep and dank & no idle chit chat has been able to make it disappear. I sold off a piece of myself agreeing to terms I did understand.
I guess she thought it was okay to return?
In any case, wow, do I feel like a gazillion gold coins today!
Case in point: they might be the one, really & true but make sure they are working as hard for you as you are for them. Otherwise it is not worth it. You cannot care for the both of you and keep yourself whole. That is not love, it is martyrdom. Do better for you.