Wed. May 18th, 2022

I was thinking today that I would start a cult. I am bored and I do not have much else to do today. Here are the easy steps:

1. Begin by creating your own reality.
2. Get my followers to understand that I am the only link to our salvation.
3. Remind my flock to give me all of their stuff, we do not need anything in our new reality.
4. I will need to keep new stories circulating about how amazing I am. No one wants a lacklustre cult leader!
5. Everyone needs to bring a friend and one family member – at least. The more people the merrier but only after they have been tested for covid and all std’s because cult members are skanky and I know you bitches are gonna be humping.
6. When you are not screwing like rabbits, I will have you doing cool shit all the damn time because we have a planet to save. Conscious manifesting day in & day out. Alan Watts will be playing in one room, deadmaus in another. It is going to be so cool. Meditate here, raving over here. Guuuys, I am on to something.
7. Look, these fucking idiots have ruined everything. People hate each other for how one person votes, how another person’s skin colour looks under their shirtsleeves, who they love, how they fuck, where they live, where they get their money from… we can fix this shit by thinking this planet straight. Join me, dear hearts. We are blessed. WE ARE THE CHOSEN ONES.

creepy how easy that is, huh?