bratgirl

let me tell you about this day (well, yesterday by the time this posts)-

it was so easy. I made apple butter. I read a few cards. I folded some clothes and bought a few groceries. I listened to a podcast. I went for a walk in the woods (IN THE SUN) and watched some insects bug out. I read some poetry and washed my kitchen. I talked to Eirik about Vulcans, butterflies and The Skarsgårds. I finished knitting my hat and pulled out that damn sweater I got stuck on sleeve island with.

That is it.

I had a dream that we sat knee-to-knee on the carpet having a staring contest. He kept winning because I kept cracking up when the corners of his mouth would even tempt to creep upwards. I could not contain my laughter.

he won over and over. laugh laugh laugh. He told me I needed to get control over my emotions. I pinched his thigh gently and told him to stop being such a ‘droid. He laughed and said something snarky and I tickled him and he fell backwards into the dark.

everything in my life is perfect, everything in my life is so easy 

Tagged : / / / /

selfish machines

Me: Sagittarius, Aries rising sign, Moon is in Taurus, Mercury is in Sagittarius, Venus is in Scorpio, Mars is in Leo, Jupiter is in Cancer, Saturn is in Virgo, Uranus is in Scorpio, Neptune is in Sagittarius, Pluto is in Libra, Lilith is in Gemini, True North Node is in Libra.

Inter-planetary aspects

The following aspects between planets concern the possible relationships between two charts, especially the emotional and romantic relationship, but also aspects of social, intellectual, and spiritual levels.

The values next to the orbs in the chart above are part of a rating system. Keep in mind that these figures serve only as a possible guideline to reveal which aspects may be considered easy or challenging. Analysis of a relationship is, of course, very complex. While some aspects can be considered, on their own, difficult for most people, some will have an easier time with them, and the same is true of easy aspects. As well, all relationships will–and should– have a mix of easy and challenging aspects.

When analyzing compatibility, always use your own logic and intuition to put these influences together. This is the case for anything you read in the report, on the site, on other sites, and in books. These are guidelines and possibilities only and are not meant to pass judgment on a relationship.

221 E. Conjunction Melinda Moon – Mercury

Positive aspect: Ideal aspect for a couple, as they will have lots of interests and projects in common, and they will understand each other well. There is a mental rapport that sometimes borders on the telepathic.

-120 E. Square Melinda Sun – Lilith

Negative aspect.

89 E. Sextile Melinda Sun-Mars

Positive aspect: Pure sexual attraction can unite the couple. They feel as if they have an ideal partner. They will be energetic, full of life and can undertake things together on a professional level or travel together on adventurous, unpredictable journeys. They respect each other’s goals and drives and don’t stand in the way of their attempts to achieve their goals. Their body rhythms match well, and they share a basic physical bond that is hard to break. Energizing.

-88 E. Square Melinda Mars – Pluto

Challenging aspect: Sexual passion but could be destructive or temperamental. It will be very difficult to pick oneself up after such a relationship. If it ends, there are likely to be hard feelings.

81 E. Trine Melinda Moon – Neptune

Positive aspect: An almost magical bond will unite them. Perfect harmony. There is something MORE to this relationship. It inspires the imagination, and there is a magical feeling of acceptance. There is much devotion here, especially on the part of the Moon person. Spiritual tenderness and romantic warmth between them. Their relationship encourages imagination in both people. This stems from an underlying acceptance of each other, which translates into the feeling that they are free to express their spiritual, imaginative sides without fear in each other’s presence. Unconditional love, which is very rare in romantic partnerships.

-76 E. Opposition Melinda Moon-Pluto

Challenging aspect: Great physical or emotional attraction, passion is sometimes uncontrolled, with possible possessiveness, jealousy, or emotional suffocation. They must learn to let go sometimes, to allow the other some space without worry. If this relationship ends, it can be very difficult to get over this relationship, if it is possible to get over it, as one or both feel burned by the other.

65 E. Trine Melinda Mars – Saturn

Positive aspect: A life together with few problems. Love tends to develop into friendship. In a broad sense, they understand each other and go well together. Their relationship can be a little routine at times, and there may be some self-consciousness with each other.

This is one indication that they will be faithful to one another.

62 E. Trine Melinda Mars – Jupiter

Positive aspect: This is an excellent aspect. They boost each other’s confidence and fill each other with enthusiasm. They make plans together, and these are realistic enough to fulfil.

59 E. Trine Melinda Saturn – Uranus

Positive aspect: Favorable union, linking invention and originality with common sense and thoughtfulness. They might do great things together.

49 E. Sextile Melinda Venus – Saturn

Positive aspect: This union could be favourable and lasting if Venus is really looking for a mature person to be with. There can be a certain level of self-consciousness together that is always present, no matter how long they are together. There is a lot of loyalty between them, and a feeling of responsibility for one another.

38 E. Trine Melinda Sun – Lunar node

Positive aspect: Each has confidence in the other. They are made to understand each other and live together, they will help each other throughout life.

35 E. Trine Melinda Venus – Lunar node

Positive aspect: The union will be most pleasant, with a good intellectual and physical understanding. These two will love each other sincerely and will have confidence in each other. Pleasant family life. A strong attraction will link the two people. They could marry. Theirs is an emotional connection – very caring and tender.

E- It can be difficult to know what Gemini really feels at any given moment. They are often very impressionable and scattered. There is usually a nervous air to Geminis that can make more personal characters a little uneasy. It is not always intuitive to trust Geminis to be loyal or to keep secrets. Geminis often flit about, moving quickly and keeping busy every step of the way. Many people with this position of the Sun have gained quite a bit of knowledge in their lifetimes, but they don’t often possess specialized knowledge. This is because Geminis have relatively short attention spans. Restlessness is especially common with this position of the Sun. You possess unmistakable competitiveness and a “me-first” attitude. The fighter persona is most apparent in youth when the child is described as a “bundle of energy”, or it is remarked that he or she “can’t sit still”.
Those who know you quite well might describe you as hot-headed and temperamental at times. You are easily frustrated, and you’re given to impulsive actions. Your moon is in Sagittarius. More than anything, Lunar Sagittarians have a need for personal freedom and space. They are extraordinarily happy and easygoing folk, as long as they don’t feel caged in or cooped up. Lunar Sagittarians have a simultaneous need for activity. Meeting new people, going out in the world, and travel are all important to their sense of well-being. They love open spaces, and, in their homes, a roomy and bright environment. There’s a bit of a teacher in Moon in Sagittarius, and definitely a helpful spirit. They easily forget appointments and the like, and some are even considered irresponsible.

He is an opportunist. He can express himself easily and tends to learn quickly. He is welcoming and gentle. He likes to travel and intellectual work. May like to throw himself into the unknown and into adventure; he is agile, tough, and enthusiastic. Attracted to long voyages, to discovering the unknown.

There is a conflict here between the head and the heart. Your emotions tell you one thing and your mind tells you something else. The result is a see-saw effect: you can be emotional to the point of irrationality at one moment, and logical the next. How to blend the head and the heart is a constant struggle for you, usually because you have a tendency to resist blending them! You love to chat, enjoy story-telling and writing/poetry, sometimes enjoy bending the truth, and you possess a sparkling wit! You are animated when you speak, and have a sense of humour that others appreciate simply because it’s very imaginative. You may be especially adept at satire. People can usually read your mood by how much you’re talking. When nervous or excitable, you talk up a storm. Moodiness is a characteristic, definitely, and an especially subjective nature makes you prone to hypersensitivity. It usually has to do with the fact that you take in so very much from your environment. This is also one of the reasons why you tend to be indecisive. You may swing between irrational and rational thoughts and feelings. It’s pretty much something that takes place “upstairs” in the mind, although others are sure to see the struggle from time to time. You are always interesting, and usually funny. You have a tendency to misrepresent yourself with what you say from time to time, but you’re charming if a little kooky, friend.

He is hard or reserved at times, and doesn’t always know how to express his emotions. He may be frightened of showing his love, and this can lead to disappointments, break-ups, lack of satisfaction. He has doubts, can be suspicious, worries too much, possibly jealous but more likely insecure. He will learn how to be happy in love, to be at ease with himself and to control his jealousy or gain more assurance and sense of self-worth in the second half of his life, possibly thanks to a mature person, who helps him learn to trust.

His feelings are dominated by wisdom, intuition, and instinct and geared towards the ideal. He likes water, sea voyages. He likes odd people, situations. Can often use a gentle approach to pursuing desires.

Love affairs are tempestuous with quarrels, crises, great passion after the storm.

He is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively.

Potential weaknesses: melancholy, sullenness, disappointment, and bitterness.

He can be wildly creative with an odd but happy sense of humor and perspective. He is an idealist, easily disappointed by those using power plays to advance.

Weaknesses: a changeable and diffuse nature. May waste energy by taking on too many things. He lacks persistence in achieving set goals.
Potential issues: may take great risks in throwing himself into the unknown and into an adventure. Audacious, bold, and rebellious. Unable to stay in one place, always ready to risk everything to achieve his goal.

He may have felt uncomfortable or wrong for paying special attention to the practical side of life, attention to details, organization, and routines. He may go to pains to prove he is NOT ordinary, worried, eager to please, or concerned about details enough to perfect a craft or project. Leaving many projects unfinished can be a sign of perfectionist expectations since this way, he does not have to deal with the prospect of not producing something perfect. The key to eliminating extreme behaviors is to work on self-acceptance.

vs.

M- Restless, cheerful, and friendly, Sun in Sagittarius people are generally on the go. They have a love of freedom and a disdain for routine. Generally quite easygoing, Sagittarians make friends with people from all walks of life. They love to laugh and tease and get along well with both sexes. Sagittarians have often blind faith in people, and in the world. Their optimism is infectious, although it can get them into trouble from time to time. These are curious people who love to learn. Their idealistic nature is hard to miss. Although generally easygoing, Sagittarius is a fire sign. This gives natives a generally quick temper. Fortunately, they’re usually as quick to forget what got them angry in the first place. The need for escape is generally strong, and some Solar Sagittarians come across as a little irresponsible. They’re generally easy to forgive, however. After all, their direct, honest approach in life is admirable. Your moon is in Taurus.

Familiarity is important to Lunar Taureans. These people are earthy and strong-willed. They feel with their senses and they are pretty much rooted in their ways. They revel in material comforts–in fact, building a solid and comfortable home and foundation helps to keep them feeling safe and content.

It isn’t wise to try to push Lunar Taureans into doing anything, but once they have made a commitment, they’re persevering. There’s a steadiness to this position of the Moon that is comforting to those close to them. But the conservative streak in these natives can be maddening to more progressive personalities. They tend to go out of their way to avoid “messy” or unpredictable situations, crises, and emotional displays. Instead, they focus on creating a reliable and secure life around them. In relationships, Lunar Taureans may not easily recognize their partner’s need for change, growth, or emotional stimulation.

Very sensitive. Fantasizes. She is easily touched, moved, and affected; she is sometimes shy, prudent, and emotional.

Your feelings are right out there for everyone to see, and you can come across as emotional and impatient, or nurturing and caring (or both). Your first reaction is emotional, especially if the Moon is in close proximity (within ten degrees) of the Ascendant degree. You need emotional stimulation, movement, and freedom to express yourself in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Your moods are very changeable, and this can be quite obvious to others. Because of your emotional sensitivity, you might often take things too personally, and react too quickly. Developing an awareness that others’ emotions are just as important, even if they are not as overt and immediate as yours, will be important.

There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and hunger for receiving affection. As such, you may get involved with people who seem to really like you, and you fail to consider whether you actually like them back! It’s somewhat of a weakness, as you are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like and appreciate you. Generally, one of your life’s lessons is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what you truly want and need. You may find yourself compromising your own emotional needs in order to find and keep love. Peace and harmony are important to you–perhaps too much so, as you can easily be taken advantage of. Insecurity is something that you need to deal with at some point in your life. Very sensual, you sometimes replace love with food or shopping! You can also be quite sexually active and sometimes quite lustful. You possess a distinct lazy streak. You are capable of working hard, but you truly appreciate luxuriating and enjoying as many pleasures as possible, and self-discipline simply isn’t always at your disposal!

You are eternally curious and hunger for knowledge. You enjoy studying and learning and do it not because you have to, but because you want to. You enjoy exchanging ideas and personal philosophies with others. You can be especially buoyant, enthusiastic, and even inspiring in your communications. While you may not pay enough attention to details, you are skilled at finding a quick solution to problems.

 

She is good, idealistic, enthusiastic, and warm-hearted. She is independent, having a taste for travel and freedom. She is curious and fair-minded. Sweetness itself. Convinced of their ideas and strong-willed. She is foresighted and willful. She knows how to trust. She appreciates all the good things in life. She appreciates and protects Nature. Believes that everything teaches you something. She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates. A wonderful storyteller. Sensual and passionate. Passions run hot and cold. Full of ardour and desire where the partner needs to be able to match her level. If disappointed or deceived in love, she can become bitter. Usually very loyal.

Possible issues: She is too adventurous and may leave things to chance; may take risks which cause problems; she is rebellious and sometimes tactless when offering opinions, excesses in pleasure, laziness, sensuality, thoughtlessness. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, she can get cagey, as she values personal freedom just as much.

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edited: The rest because I told G I would post it. No one else needs to read this. Shoo.

The Sun is in Sagittarius
Restless, cheerful, and friendly, Sun in Sagittarius people are generally on the go. They have a love of freedom and a disdain for routine. Generally quite easygoing, Sagittarians make friends with people from all walks of life. They love to laugh and tease and get along well with both sexes. Sagittarians have often blind faith in people, and in the world. Their optimism is infectious, although it can get them into trouble from time to time. These are curious people who love to learn. Their idealistic nature is hard to miss.

Although generally easygoing, Sagittarius is a fire sign. This gives natives a generally quick temper. Fortunately, they are usually as quick to forget what got them angry in the first place. The need for escape is generally strong, and some Solar Sagittarians come across as a little irresponsible. They are generally easy to forgive, however. After all, their direct, honest approach in life is admirable.

Short description:

She is good, idealistic, enthusiastic, and warm-hearted. She is independent, having a taste for travel and freedom. She is curious and fair-minded.

Possible issues: She is too adventurous and may leave things to chance; may take risks which cause problems; she is rebellious and sometimes tactless when offering opinions.

Sagittarius with ascendant Aries

Sun in VIII: The Sun is in the eighth house

You have a great urge to go farther or deeper into life every step of the way. You want to experience more, and your desires are both powerful and intense. It is hard for you to find satisfaction in common experiences, and you have magnetic power if you choose to use it wisely. You are fascinated with what lies under the surface, and at some point in your life, self-improvement is a big interest. You are attracted to unexplored or taboo areas of life, and you avoid all things superficial. Financial problems may ease after marriage.

1 Trine between the Sun and Mars

You are enterprising and have powerful stores of energy that you can draw upon when needed. You respond to problems or challenges with spirited and enthusiastic confidence that is admirable. You are naturally competitive, and this trait is generally well-received by others simply because it is unforced, unaffected, and sincere. You truly believe in fair play, and you seem to be in love with life. When you are expressing competitiveness and courage, it is easy for others to smile and accept these traits as positive ones rather than being rubbed the wrong way. You have good physical vitality. Although competitive, you are not naturally combative. You may enjoy sports or games that are competitive, but not violent. Breaking the rules of a competitive game is particularly upsetting to you. You are more able than most to control your desires, aggressions, and instincts. You know how to be fair, and you expect others to be fair. As such, sneaky behaviours, uncontrolled impulses, violence, and rage are offensive to you.

-114 Square between the Sun and Saturn

You faced a fair number of challenges in your life, especially in the first half of life, in which your attempts to express your will were often thwarted. There can be a persistent feeling that you do not get what they want in comparison to others. You can feel unlucky at times. Attempts to control your environment, and sometimes others, may be frequent.

You want to be considered an accomplished and important person, and when you face obstacles, you do not always see that you are your own worst enemy. You may long to be considered important in the eyes of the world, yet you harbour a fear of success at the same time. You take failures and minor setbacks to heart, and may even practically beat yourself up over them. Self-awareness to the point of real self-consciousness is a possibility. The truth is, nobody holds a microscope over you, except for yourself. A little setback or a faux pas need not be analyzed to death. Fingers need not be pointed out. No, you did not make a spectacle of yourself when you made a mistake. You need to stop worrying about always being right, or appearing suave and accomplished. When you ease the pressure you put on yourself, you find that you do not face as many brick walls. It is very much about what you feel you deserve. Deep down inside, if you let yourself truly believe that you deserve happiness and peace of mind, you will find it. You may engage in a lot of self-censoring: “I should not..” is a common censoring mechanism with you. When you express egotism of any form, some part of you feels guilty. As the Sun rules our conscious mind, it does enough censoring on its own. It is the “adult” within us. Saturn, on the other hand, is more like the “parent” within us. We need parents to guide us when we are children, and to some degree as adults, but for the most part, we do not need to be censored indefinitely–something that seems to be the case with Saturn-Sun hard aspects, except that the censoring and parenting are coming from within. Ideally, you eventually learn that the standards you set for yourself are too high, and that may be the reason you seem to hit brick walls. You have a sarcastic sense of humour, a keen intelligence, and the ability to apply caution and strategy. The vitality may suffer, and troubles with the bones, teeth, and circulation may surface, especially at times of stress in your life.

The Moon
The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and self-image. The Moon represents the emotions, and the Moon sign shows how a person expresses themselves when at home, at ease, and comfortable.

The Moon is in Taurus
Familiarity is important to Lunar Taureans. These people are earthy and strong-willed. They feel with their senses and they are pretty much rooted in their ways. They revel in material comforts–in fact, building a solid and comfortable home and foundation helps to keep them feeling safe and content.

It is not wise to try to push Lunar Taureans into doing anything, but once they have made a commitment, they are persevering. There is a steadiness to this position of the Moon that is comforting to those close to them. But the conservative streak in these natives can be maddening to more progressive personalities. They tend to go out of their way to avoid “messy” or unpredictable situations, crises, and emotional displays. Instead, they focus on creating a reliable and secure life around them. In relationships, Lunar Taureans may not easily recognize their partner’s need for change, growth, or emotional stimulation.

Moon in Taurus natives is generally very romantic. Their affections are strong, deep, and unwavering. They are sentimental and warm. Since Taurus is a practical earth sign, the placement of the Moon in this sign suggests an ability to protect themselves and their own interests. They will rarely make a move without first determining that it is safe and that there is something in it for them. Generally, Taurus Moon people have reliable instincts. They are very much tied to the physical world, and they often have a particularly well-developed sense of smell. Relationships with people born with this position of the Moon are often quite enduring. Many Moon in Taurus people hangs onto their mates, even in the face of serious conflict. Taurus is a fixed sign, so break-ups do not happen easily.

There is a serenity to them that is calming. In fact, it takes a lot to really get to them. However, they do get off-centre every once in a while. They are not the most adaptable people when their own routine is interrupted, for example. Though some Lunar Taureans might be considered anal, most simply have a stubborn streak that keeps them rather resistant to change. Rarely are they spontaneous sorts. Uncomfortable with surprises, these natives value stability. Their needs are strong but quite simple at the same time–they love the “good things” in life. The world of the five senses is all-important to these natives. Their love of stability and steadiness can make them slaves to routine. However, they are loyal and capable people.

Short description:

Sweetness itself. Convinced of their ideas and strong-willed. She is foresighted and willful. She knows how to trust. She appreciates all the good things in life. She appreciates and protects Nature.

Possible issues: excesses in pleasure, laziness, sensuality, thoughtlessness.

Moon in I: The Moon is in the first house

Very sensitive. Fantasizes. She is easily touched, moved, and affected; she is sometimes shy, prudent, and emotional.

Your feelings are right out there for everyone to see, and you can come across as emotional and impatient, or nurturing and caring (or both). Your first reaction is emotional, especially if the Moon is in close proximity (within ten degrees) of the Ascendant degree. You need emotional stimulation, movement, and freedom to express yourself in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Your moods are very changeable, and this can be quite obvious to others. Because of your emotional sensitivity, you might often take things too personally, and react too quickly. Developing an awareness that others’ emotions are just as important, even if they are not as overt and immediate as yours, will be important.

-62 Opposition between the Moon and Venus

Because you value harmony, you may find yourself giving in to others too easily, especially in the first half of life. Resentment is possible, as you can feel that you are the one who seems to do all the acquiescing. There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and hunger for receiving affection. As such, you may get involved with people who seem to really like you, and you fail to consider whether you actually like them back! It is somewhat of a weakness, as you are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like and appreciate you. Generally, one of your life’s lessons is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what you truly want and need. The functions of the Moon (which rules the emotions and feelings, amongst other things) and the functions of Venus (which rules social relationships, harmony, and partnership, amongst other things) are at cross-purposes. When you attempt to feed the needs of one function, it is often at the expense of the other, until you find some sort of balance. This can play out in a variety of ways. For example, there can be conflicts in partnerships about parenting or whether or not to have a family. You may find yourself compromising your own emotional needs in order to find and keep love. Peace and harmony are important to you–perhaps too much so, as you can easily be taken advantage of. Insecurity is something that you need to deal with at some point in your life. Very sensual, you sometimes replace love with food or shopping! You can also be quite sexually active and sometimes quite lustful. You possess a distinct lazy streak. You are capable of working hard, but you truly appreciate luxuriating and enjoying as many pleasures as possible, and self-discipline simply is not always at your disposal!

While she is usually sweet and gracious, she can also be in constant and capricious at times, possessing a changeable nature. A varied love life, ups and downs, unusual ideas.

-173 Square between the Moon and Mars

You can be precocious, animated, and passionate. You seek emotional excitement in your life. Although you often project a brave and tough image, your skin is not as thick as you would have others believe. You tend to put up defences due to your emotionally vulnerable and excitable disposition. Unrest is characteristic, as you are bored by routine and become easily frustrated when life is “too easy”. There’s a buzz of energy surrounding you, and you tend to meet with many conflicts in your life. With the opposition, the conflict tends to be lived through relationships. The passions are quite raw, especially in youth.

If you can channel your excitable energy into sports or some other competitive field, all the better. Although you can be a decidedly amiable and interesting person, others always seem to sense your boundaries. Something is bound to get you worked up, and it is not always clear what that something will be. Your bluntness can be both appreciated and considered offensive, depending on your audience! You are eager to make a personal impact on those around you. It is possible that you are too eager in this sense, and you come across as self-absorbed and difficult to stomach. Patience is definitely not your strong point! Your responses are quick, and you are a passionate person who is usually quite courageous although your energy is sporadic and sometimes wasted. You are sexually responsive.

Short description: She is very emotional and can be driven to do things by her emotions. She may not always think things over or through in a given situation. She can be irascible and easily angered or fired up. Marital or domestic strife or a heated atmosphere at home is possible.

-198 Opposition between the Moon and Uranus

She may at times suffer from an almost feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. Her life can be full of change or the emotions are often in a state of flux. Also, frequent changes of mind. She is irritable and stubborn at times due to an inner restlessness that is hard to satisfy. She can have difficulty concentrating on a job, although is capable of much if allowed to move from task to task to alleviate extreme boredom with routine. Nervous strain. Her friendships may be like her professional and love life – sometimes unstable or erratic. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, she can get cagey, as she values personal freedom just as much.

51 Trine between the Moon and Midheaven

She has a strong sense of family, profound feelings, and may especially like children and animals. If there are changes in her professional life, they are most often for the better. There is a sense of forwarding movement, popularity with those in authority or in professional life.

Mercury
Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.

Mercury is in Sagittarius
Enthusiastic, humorous, and sometimes moralistic. She has strong opinions, and will often be eager to share them! Democrat, philosopher, tolerant, respectful of laws. Interested in foreign places and learning more languages. Believes that everything teaches you something.

Mercury in IX: Mercury is in the ninth house

Her thirst for knowledge is never satisfied. She is mentally active. She may undertake exhaustive studies, always studying for pleasure. Can very much enjoy journeys to faraway places, and may go to live abroad.

You are eternally curious and hunger for knowledge. You enjoy studying and learning and do it not because you have to, but because you want to. You enjoy exchanging ideas and personal philosophies with others. You can be especially buoyant, enthusiastic, and even inspiring in your communications. While you may not pay enough attention to details, you are skilled at finding a quick solution to problems. You readily see the bigger picture and enjoy sharing your opinions and ideas. You get off on how information affects people’s lives, and you take great pleasure in learning that something you have shared or taught has inspired others to take action, experience something new, or make changes in their lives. Some of you might be too quick to offer advice, however, that might be lacking in thoroughness and practicality, or that you yourself do not follow.

137 Conjunction between Mercury – Neptune

She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates. A wonderful storyteller.

9 Sextile between Mercury – Pluto

She has a great sense of observation and quickly grasps and sizes the situation. She is crafty, subtle, and perceptive.

-69 Opposition between Mercury – Lilith

Can be provocative in speech or communications, often challenging and contradicting, and seeing the flaws of a situation. This might be someone who holds back her sensuality.

Venus
Venus represents an interest in emotions and values, exchange, and sharing with others.

Venus is in Scorpio
Venus in Scorpio people attracts others with their intensity and willingness to commit. They have a strong and concentrated manner which suggests their feelings run deep. Their actions in love tend to promise deep commitment and sexual pleasure, even if they are not telling you this directly. Their appeal lies in their focus on you, and their dedication. Venus in Scorpio seems fearless when it comes to intimacy. Potential lovers get the feeling that Venus in Scorpio will never stray, that they are intensely loyal to the one they love. They possess you and somehow make it seem attractive to be possessed.

Venus in Scorpio natives gives you their complete attention. These people are very focused on their partners. Depending on your personality, you may find this unnerving or entirely flattering. They have a strong need to control their partner, although this will not be immediately apparent, and they may not ever admit to this. Their body-and-soul love and commitment can be so intense that it eclipses fun and makes loving them a very heavy experience. Their emotion and intensity may seem overdone to those looking for a more lighthearted relationship. These people take things to extremes and can be very provocative. Although they want to explore all of your nooks and crannies, they will not always be forthcoming with their own. When you have upset these lovers, you will know it. Depending on the moment, Venus in Scorpio will shoot you one of the most piercing glares around, or totally blow up. Whichever style they choose, a slighted Scorpio lover is not a pretty sight. These people can be jealous of all of your attachments, but few will admit it. They are not afraid of being underhanded in matters of the heart, and they are experts at cutting through all the fluff and seeing you for what you are. Still, you may find their conclusions about you seem skewed and mistrustful.

Pleasing Venus in Scorpio involves demonstrating your complete commitment and loyalty to them. Appreciate their guts when it comes to love and intimacy — they are proud of their courage in these matters. If you can, and they are deserving, relinquish some of the control in the relationship. Let them feel they own you, without taking it to extremes. Remember, though, that some Venus in Scorpio lovers can and will take advantage of you on a subtle level if only to keep you all to themselves. Let them have their secrets and silences.

Short description: Sensual and passionate. Passions run hot and cold. Full of ardour and desire where the partner needs to be able to match her level. Can be jealous and possessive. If disappointed or deceived in love, she can become bitter. Usually very loyal.

Venus in VII: Venus is in the seventh house

Her fate can depend a lot on partnership. May connect for love, children, happy emotional life.

Harmony is most important to you, so it is unlikely you will attempt to dominate a lover. You are a peacemaker, sometimes going to great lengths to achieve a balanced, harmonious relationship. Be careful not to bend over backwards just to keep the peace–you may be taken advantage of. Your marriage partner may be especially attractive, charming, or well off. You are extremely attractive, agreeable, and charming, drawing others to you magnetically. You need an unusual amount of contact and exchange with a partner and might find that you feel completely lost without one. Some of you might quickly enter into partnerships, perhaps too quickly and neither equipped nor prepared for the responsibilities that a long-term relationship demands. In some cases, there can be a shallow or materialistic interest in partners. Your hips and lower back may be special erogenous zones for you, or they may be especially attractive body parts.

174 Conjunction between Venus – Uranus

Independent in love. Her love life is rich, but possibly with passing love affairs. She can tire quickly and can be scared of losing her liberty. Traditional marriage may not be for her. She has that little something that attracts others. She likes amorous adventures or unusual pastimes, she is romantic, although a little detached or unpredictable. She is the eternal lover and is more likely to break something off than live untruly. She likes art, anything new.

The ability to get along with–and accept–people from all walks of life as friends are strong with this position. She can readily see through insincerity in others. In relationships, tolerance is the most important “ingredient” to her. Her sexual preferences can be somewhat unconventional, and she may not be happy with a partner who tries to limit her sexual expression. She is usually quite capable of maintaining relationships that require a great deal of freedom and tolerance, such as long-distance romances or set-ups in which partners are unable to see each other consistently. Her style in love can be somewhat free and breezy, and possibly noncommittal. She quite naturally accepts the idea that her partner might need some personal space and freedom.

Mars
Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.

Mars is in Leo
This position of Mars gives a drive for significance. Mars in Leo individuals possess a strong need to create in some way–and they are determined that their lives have not only meaning but the significant meaning! This is a particularly vital position of Mars. Passions run high, and so does desire. There is a strong will that gives these natives much-staying power. Though Mars in Leo people will enjoy the pleasures of risk-taking, they generally have a strong sense of reason at the end of the day. Mars in Leo people often have well-defined ambitions. Rarely will you find a person with Mars in this position who lives life without a true sense of a “calling”? They act with authority and power, and their personal magnetism generally endows them with the ability to get what they want.

This is one of the more sexual positions of Mars. While they are rather easy to arouse, their passion is long-standing. Mars in Leo natives enjoy sex more than most, as long as heavy doses of love and romance are part of the package. In partnership, they demand loyalty and admiration. Impatient with small-mindedness and disloyalty, Mars in Leo natives generally have a strong idealistic streak. They easily get fired up when they feel they have been humiliated, and they defend their high principles with ardour. Mars in Leo natives act with their heart. Their ego is tied up with their actions so that most anything they do becomes a source of great pride. Though some are self-righteous and quarrelsome, the more sophisticated people with this position are kindly leaders.

Mars in V: Mars is in the fifth house

Spontaneous nature. She likes games or competitive sports. She takes professional risks. A great worker, she likes everything that can be done quickly and gets impatient with things that hang around for too long. It is the same for her emotional life: no candy-floss or fine speeches, she gets directly to the point.

You have a strong love of pleasure, and you tend to directly and perhaps impulsively pursue romance. Many of you are sports lovers, and anything with an element of risk appeals to you or entertains you. You put a lot of energy into the pursuit of entertainment, satisfaction, games, and pleasure. You may be a very active hobbyist. You tend to be very playful and demonstrative, and you could really enjoy putting on a show. You can be very competitive. If you have children, they may be especially active and boisterous.

-31 Square between Mars – Uranus

She is full of contradictions. She is original, tending to the eccentric, headstrong, impatient, and sometimes irascible. Erratic energy levels, needing to be fully inspired to apply energy to a matter. She will fight to the bitter end to overcome hurdles and has the strength to overcome them.

20 Trine between Mars – Neptune

Her feelings are dominated by wisdom, intuition, and instinct and geared towards the ideal. She likes water, sea voyages. She likes odd people, situations. Can often use a gentle approach to pursuing desires.

51 Trine between Mars – Ascendant

She is energetic and direct.

Jupiter
Jupiter represents expansion and grace.

Jupiter is in Cancer
She attracts the best fortune when she is sympathetic, charitable, uses her powers to save and accumulate, and comforts others. Real estate and the food industry can be prosperous avenues. She values tradition and works towards security. Relies most on gut instincts when it comes to pursuing goals and business success.

Jupiter in III: Jupiter is in the third house

She has good judgement, a sense of values, an open and optimistic mind, a good education and high moral standards. She likes studying. She is successful in communications work. her professional work is a vocation and plays a great part in her life.

29 Sextile between Jupiter – Saturn

She is serious, patient, honest, hard-working, orderly. Her judgment is good and she is inclined to think things over. She pursues her objectives to the bitter end, usually knowing when to choose the right moment. She is upright, usually law-abiding and respecting order.

0 Square between Jupiter – Ascendant

She appears to have a very honourable and generous attitude toward others, and others assume that she has their best interests at heart. Because others see her as tolerant, understanding, and wise, they may also turn to her for advice. May go to excess when eating.

-118 Opposition between Jupiter – Midheaven

She aims big and may often be disappointed with small advancements or successes, wishing that these were bigger or better. She may bring every conversation around to herself, which is a tendency that should be kept in check. She has highs and lows in her professional life.

Saturn
Saturn represents contraction and effort.

Saturn is in Virgo
She likes order, harmony, method, and balance. She can undertake long-term medical or scientific studies.

Weaknesses: Can be intransigent, stubborn. Misuse of medicines, or asking for too much medicine.

Saturn in VI: Saturn is in the sixth house

She is a worker, very steady in all she does. She likes precision, method. She is serious and seeks continuity at work. She can focus on a job in the medical field where she will likely be successful, as she possesses all the necessary qualities.

14 Trine between Saturn – Midheaven

She is ambitious but in a deliberate, calculated, well-balanced way. She is persevering, mostly serious, and orderly. She climbs the ladder slowly but surely; if need be, she is willing to change her ideas. She is wise and experienced.

Uranus
Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.

Uranus in Scorpio
Intelligent and subtle. Usually, she adores research, inquiry, investigation. Very sensual. May want to explore new ways to connect with others.

Uranus in VII: Uranus is in the seventh house

She rejects traditional roles in partnership or she is attracted to (or attracts) unconventional people as partners. May fear entrapment, but it can take half a lifetime to realize this is coming from within, not from others. Her independence doesn’t match well for traditional marriage. If she does marry, she needs many freedoms.

Will do best in unconventional or nontraditional set-ups. Likely to attract unusual, erratic people, particularly in close relationships.

Neptune
Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.

Neptune is in Sagittarius
May especially enjoy long voyages, things foreign, being close to water. Altruistic, broad spiritual vision, humane, spiritual.

Neptune in IX: Neptune is in the ninth house

Interest in art, possessing high ideals and a great attraction to exotic ideas and to the sea. Big dreams. She is idealistic and intuitive, taking an interest in spirituality. She is compassionate and kind. Can be fascinated with other cultures or foreign places. A humanitarian with a good imagination.

54 Sextile between Neptune – Pluto

She is perceptive and able to see layers to a situation. She is naturally drawn to learning what makes herself and others tick.

-2 Opposition between Neptune – Lilith

Love can dominate her life. She could lose her head over someone to whom there’s an intense attraction, which can become troublesome if she loses all idea of reality. If she is not loved in return, so what – she will love for the two of them. With time, if the bond loses its spark, she can have difficulty disentangling herself and she can suffer enormously. It is best to look to a trusted outside source for guidance in vulnerable times.

8 Trine between Neptune – Ascendant

She can have unusual relationships. She is easily influenced, very sensitive and emotional.

Pluto
Pluto represents transformations, mutations, and elimination.

Pluto is in Libra
May look for new ways to relate to others.

Pluto in VII: Pluto is in the seventh house

She learns her greatest lessons and goes through the deepest transformations through partnerships. Power struggles can be an ongoing issue in close relationships. Compromise is learned over time.

-8 Opposition between Pluto – Ascendant

She may have a strong will, can pout and brood or dwell on problem areas.

Lilith
Black Moon Lilith represents our darker, deeper natures that may be repressed or buried.

Lilith in Gemini
She can feel uncomfortable if speaking too much or too little, or for her intelligence or social skills. She may be wary of people who seem to be indulgent in these ways — who are social butterflies or who talk too much or who seem to flaunt their intelligence. Her curiosity may have been stifled in some manner. Owning and accepting this side of nature can be empowering. She can be wicked with what she says when angry! Shame in these areas can lead to extremes of behaviour and a feeling of being out of control. Working on self-acceptance is the key to empowerment.

North Node-South Node
The South Node represents our overdeveloped character traits. We are talented here but if we overdo this area of life or hold onto these traits to feel secure, we may stagnate. The North Node points to the qualities that we need to work on and develop to achieve inner balance and fulfilment.

True North Node in Libra
Her path is to learn to cooperate, delegate, and share the load more often. She sometimes relies on herself so much that people in her life feel alienated or not needed. She is working on tact and patience. She may fear losing some freedom or independence if she involves others more, but allowing some feedback or help into her life can restore balance. She lets success into her life when she lets others in. Ultimately, she learns that self-justification stunts her growth. Qualities to develop and cultivate: Cooperation, tact, sharing, teamwork.

North Node in VII: North Node in the Seventh House

She tends to fall back on depending on herself when cooperating with someone special can help her succeed and bring her better luck. The goal should be to involve others more and build diplomacy and cooperation so as to gain perspective and share the load. Her path is to listen to others instead of falling back on her automatic response to do everything on her own and call the shots. Qualities to develop: finding a middle ground, cooperation, harmony.

The Houses
House I is the area of self-identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

Sagittarius with ascendant Aries

Ascendant is in Aries

People with Aries Ascendants are direct and quick. Their first instinct is to do, rather than think. Planning ahead? Forget it. Aries rising simply charges forward without much ado. This position does not make a person aggressive. Forthright, yes, but aggression is too strong a word for these natives. They have a youthful, direct manner that sees what it wants and generally goes for it. At the same time, there is not any malice in their intent. Some Aries rising people are competitive, but they generally put most of the pressure on themselves. These people love to come out ahead in all that they do. They get ready quickly, walk quickly, and have little patience for dilly-dallying. Their temper is quick, too. It is also quick to disappear. Rarely do you find Aries rising people holding grudges. Their mannerisms are rather simple and straightforward.

Aries rising loves action and is often trying to stir up some activity. Their strengths lie in their enterprising ways. Finishing things they start does not always come as easily, unless the ruler, Mars, is placed in a more tenacious sign, such as Taurus or Scorpio. Aries Ascendant often gives a rather swift walk, with the head leaning forward slightly. This walk is surprisingly distinctive. Headaches, and sinus and eye problems are the usual physical complaints of this position. Rashes and acne on the face and shoulders sometimes occur. Broad shoulders and slim hips are common. Often, Aries rising people are quick to smile, and they possess a youthful charm throughout life. Probably early on in life, Aries rising people got typecast as the “independent” child. As adults, people with Aries Ascendants often stick to that role in life. People do not run to help them out — they appear quite fine doing things on their own. These people have learned to be self-reliant, and this generally stems from their early experiences. Despite a rather brusque and independent manner, these natives are usually very willing to compromise in their relationships and are very attached to the people they hold dear.

House II – the second house – is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions.

Taurus on House II

Financially usually comfortable, but there can be a tendency to splurge on luxury items. However, she is unlikely to go wanting. The house where Venus is placed can show areas where money can be made. May hold on to things. Sentimental about personal possessions.

House III – the third house – is the area of social and intellectual learning.

Gemini on House III

She adapts well to any kind of change, and enthusiastically. She does not like monotony. Early family life was busy, and usually, this position suggests a number of siblings. Work in communications or the media is possible. Writing talent is also probable. Can read and think a lot, but may not be very focused. Can have a lot of projects going at once.

House IV – the fourth house – is the area of the home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth.

Cancer on House IV

She can revere family life, children may have a large place in her heart. She is by nature calm, affectionate, delicate, and tender. She values peace and calm in the home. She is nostalgic, collecting things of sentimental value.

House V – the fifth house – is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling.

Cancer on House V

She may often be in love, up until the day she meets someone special. She is not a gambler, by any means. She is safe in a casino! Can take great pleasure in home life. Hobbies may be cooking, sewing, and other Cancer-related pastimes. Very affectionate lover, but private and sensitive.

House VI – the sixth house – is the area of learning by material transaction.

Leo on House VI

Ability to command, authority at work. Weak point: the heart and arteries.

House VII – the seventh house – is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action.

Libra on House VII

She looks for compromise in relationships and partnership or marriage. May get involved in a committed relationship earlier than most.

House VIII – the eighth house – is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul.

Scorpio on House VIII

Lots of vivacity and hastiness can even put lives in danger at times. Unafraid of tricky topics, such as sex and death. Passionate. Intrigued by the metaphysical.

House IX – the ninth house – is the area of learning that shapes the identity.

Sagittarius on House IX

Long voyages abroad are possible. Might settle permanently in a foreign country. Intellectual work, mathematical mind.

House X – the tenth house – is the area of material action. The Midheaven represents the work one will do in one’s life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older.

Capricorn on House X

Someone who is completely trusted at work. Respectable, irreproachable in her work and moral qualities, scrupulous, and praiseworthy.

House XI – the eleventh house – is the area of search for social and intellectual security.

Capricorn on House XI

Stable friendships with composed, wise people, from the whole experience of life benefits and enriches her own life.

House XII – the twelfth house – is the area of education and of emotion. This is where we meet our karma, deal with endings, and sometimes where we bury things.

Aquarius on House XII

Friends can be complicated, perhaps bringing predicaments to the life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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beauty school drop out

the lucy&yak debate continues and boy, did it get ugly. I have had it before, of course. I left one of my favourite mama groups because of a few entitled whiny brats. IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF EVERY CLOTHING COMPANY TO DRESS EVERY BODY. Period. Stop putting fatphobia on this. It is the social stigma of obesity that causes difficulties and disadvantages for overweight and obese people…. that is what fatphobia is. Not shaming companies REPEATEDLY into dressing you because you like their clothes. Do you know what that is? Bullying (seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce). Big companies that have the means should dress us all, small companies should not have to. Stop bullying them!

I do not understand why you would continue to harass someone that is not doing what you want them to do. If someone did not have something I wanted, I would leave and find someone that did. No, these people continuously hound these people on every post they make WILL YOU BE EXTENDING THE SIZE RANGE WITH THE NEW DROP WILL YOU MAKE THESE IN A 5XL WILL YOU MAKE THESE IN LESS FEM COLOURS WILL YOU MAKE THESE IN PETITE SIZES WILL YOU MAKE THESE IN TALL SIZES WILL YOU MAKES THESE IN XYZ COLOUR BECAUSE IT IS MY FAVOURITE

Not only do they have to change their size range from 00-30 they need to cater to every single colour of the rainbow because it is required of them.

When I was too heavy to wear their stuff, I liked their posts and moved on. Now that I can wear their stuff, a lot of it is too long and awkward fitting because I am short. Am I on their site bitching and moaning? Nope, because I understand that they are not my personal tailor.

They had a disagreement with a black woman so they are also racist because they used “tense” wording.

I have this happen to me on a regular basis. I was told that E was racist because of the way he treats me. “He would never treat a Norwegian girl like that!”

Just because a white person and a POC have an issue does not make it a race issue. Sometimes people just have issues.

STOP MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF DUNGAREES.

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lymphoreticulosis

This post is hard for me to write but necessary so meow with me a second, okay?

I know he did not ignore me because he is mean or avoidant or anything like that. He hid because he thought he was ready but he was not. He brought me close and pushed me away and probably felt bad about it. He did not mean me any harm. It did not translate into that he did not care, quite the opposite really. It never had anything to do with me. It was about him.

Unfortunately, he did not have the emotional articulation to tell me this so I thought the worst (of us both) and I unravelled (you guys know what happened, you were here). I learned another new behaviour because I was told to do something that was not natural to me.

This one, unlike the others, has proven to have some benefits.

it has been questioned why I cannot learn lessons in a controlled, kind way like some people do. I do not have an answer for that. Maybe I would not be able to learn that way? Maybe I am too stubborn to absorb information without a struggle?

In any case, I have learned some self-restraint. I really did not have much before. Now I think before I do things – yeah, I am told this is a total autistic trait.

I just got so tired of being shut down & ignored.

But I do not believe he did it to be spiteful. What I know about him tells me that there is not a mean bone in his being. He just shuts off all of the switches and retreats.

A conscientious kitten that makes sure the gas is off before scooting under the sofa. This was my mistake – thinking he was treating me the way that he was because he was trying to inflict harm on me.

I never did anything to him so why would he do that? Well, what did I ever do to any of them?

 

right. Now you understand.

Getting him to open up has been rough. I thought it was a solely a trust thing, but I do not know that he has the emotional depth to say what he feels (which I fucking get 100%). That gets exhausting and it is easier to pretend you have nothing to say or give or hey, it has really been that long since I have talked to you wow.

It is not personal. It is just how each day goes.

Add family, friends and a huge work schedule and fucking hell you have a mess that even someone with direction has an issue with.

and what is a relationship? Sometimes needing to think of someone else besides yourself.

And a relationship with me?
dear hearts, let us not gloss this over: I am FAN-tastic, yes, but I am not an easy human. even when you remove the, “I am not looking for a step-dad” (auto-correct turned that into “step-sad” and I laughed myself into TEARS), I still have kids. I am not a simple woman to get involved with.

Not. Simple. 

let me fix that: I am the best thing that will happen to the right human. No one has really ever given me the chance, but I live with myself 24/7 & I am rad. I can write myself a convincing reference if needed.

I chased this one for several miles down a road but not for the reasons one chases someone – I am not a fox and he is not a rabbit. We are both felines and neither of us have found our place in this big, daunting world yet. I thought maybe we could nap under the same hedges for safety because two is always better than one.

I think he is finally starting to understand that and me and hallelujah to that.

Patience is something I have always had.

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Isn’t it wonderful

I have been staring at the ceiling for the past hour. Not a damn thought in my head. Just blink. blink. blink.

every so often the phrase “isn’t it wonderful?”, will pop in & leave just as quickly as it came on through.

isn’t it wonderful? 

“What is it, Lassie? Is Timmy stuck in the well?”
the dog, looks confused.
“Is it Timmy?”
the dog barks, excitedly.
“Good boy, Lassie! Is Timmy in the lake?”
the dog looks confused again, turns his head to the side & whimpers.
“What is it, Lassie, huh, boy? Where is Timmy?”
the dog lays down & hides his face in his paws & whines.

isn’t it wonderful?

isn’t it wonderful?

ISN’T IT WONDERFUL

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horology

I was watching a show this morning about what would have happened if Rosa Louise McCauley Parks had not given up her seat that day in December. What would have happened to us, the people of colour in the U.S? White people were doing whatever they could to keep the separate but equal laws rolling so we could not prosper. What would have happened, friends, if the civil rights movement had not started with Ms. Parks?

They would have pushed us all into the ghettos behind razor linked fences and kept us under surveillance & rationed us rail-thin and under-educated so we were like lab-rats until we were bred-out. Problem solved.

They would have kept a few for manual labour, of course. They still needed slaves. That is what they had us for in the first place. They would have made sure we did not overpopulate ourselves and we would certainly not educate ourselves. There is nothing the white man hates more than an uppity educated nigger.

Except maybe an armed uppity educated nigger.

I am tired, fam. Real tired.

Did you know that black men are twice as likely to marry a white woman than a black woman? Black women are still considered to be the most unattractive of all of the women on the planet. We are told that our best chances are to date men of other races because black men are just “not that into us”. We are also called “exotic” (not kidding. Look up, “black women dating”. it is one of the first things that pops up. This does not come up when you look up, “white women dating”). Not beautiful. Not intelligent or adventurous or fun.

Exotic.

Separate but equal.
did this ever completely go away?

I can get a decent job that pays well but will I ever find a partner that treats me like he would treat the girl he went to barnehage with? He has a similar upbringing with her, possibly the same friends, maybe even likes the same Christmas dinner foods.

I am just exotic. Exotic is just another way to say “sexy”. I am largely asexual and if you know me at all, you know that.  I will never be societies standard of “beautiful” like her. My hair is curly and sometimes nappy depending on how well I am taking care of it. My eyes are dark and never will be blue or green or grey. My skin is golden, sometimes darker if the summer is kind and graces us with weather warm enough for me to play outdoors.

But I am enough.

I am not white, not fully. I am not fully black, either. I am some middle ground, some hybrid that will not let me live peacefully in either camp. Black people tell me I am too light-skinned and that I look Hispanic. White people tell me that I am clearly not one of them. Racists find enough insults to hurl at my feet but I wish they knew that I do not feel them so they should keep them tucked in their unwashed mouths.

Less than 12% of the world population is “white” but all of the standards of beauty are defined by them.

Everything. Is. White.

Why?

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miau

if I could keep him, I would. I would build him a box and line it with crushed velvet and the sunlight would stream in and warm him and the moonlight would lull him to sleep. I would sing him songs that I have made up to rhyme and to be silly to make him laugh. I would bake him pies and things with cheese. I would kiss him all over his face and leave my lipstick behind for his skin to absorb.
but to him, that box would be a coffin and no one wants to live like that.

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the troubles

I waited for decades to fall properly in love. To love someone that the only thing I wanted for them is their happiness and all I wanted from them is to love me in return. And because of the trash I hear day in and day out I know it is doomed because love has no purpose but to hurt you. I have not spent a moment being happy “being in love”. It hurts when I breathe in like something punctured me with a fistful of pine needles (“that is not true! you hear a song or two and you smile and your heart sings and you wonder what it would be like…” – never entertain the fantasy longer than a moment, girl, you know it pain is worse than any rejection reality gives).

 

 

 

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but her eyes saved his life

What a question.
Knowing everything I know, having been through all I have been through…

Yeah, I would do it all over again. Too much potential lingers here.

It is not perfect but that is because we are humans and nothing we do is perfect. Assuming anything else is going to end in disappointment.

but he makes me purr*, darlings. Sure, he also makes me perch & growl but hey… mind the purr. No one else does that. I have left scratch marks, but an actual tonal fluttering?

*a sign of contentment: when being petted, becoming relaxed, or eating. 😻

I have more to add to this but I am exhausted. Later.

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