Wed. May 18th, 2022

Now it is a dance you never wanted to go to that your friends dragged you to because they got tired of you staying home every weekend listening to The Cure and writing poetry in your moleskine.

You put on a nice dress, whining along to Robert as he wishes impossible things. You spray a quarter of a can of aqua net on your hair, apply the reddest lipstick and the blackest eyeliner you can find & you lace up your goth stompers. You throw yourself on your bed and repeat over and over again how much you know this is going to suck.

You hear the horn beep outside, you sigh & grab your coffin purse & faux leather jacket.

You drink from a flask & smoke clove cigarettes before you get to the dance. You feel slightly better about this whole stupid shindig. The auditorium is dimly lit and that helps your classmates look less predictable.

Your friends pair off quickly and you are left alone again. You wonder why you allowed yourself to be talked into this in the first place.

Then he came and sat next to you. He is nothing like the guy you are heartbroken over but he is paying attention to you right now. Now that you are looking at him, he is actually kind of cute. You hand him the flask and he asks you if you play DnD and suddenly, the two of you are laughing like two old friends.

Later when you say good night, you hug and realise you had not thought of so & so for hours.

On the car ride home, you sing along to the radio even though it is bad pop music.

“You do not replace one with the other”, you think as you brush your teeth before you go to bed, “one lets you go so there is a space there for someone else.”