Wed. May 18th, 2022

Well then, to achieve freedom from passion, and freedom from disturbance, and to sleep soundly when you sleep, and to be fully awake when you’re awake, to be afraid of nothing, and anxious about nothing, are you unwilling to make any sacrifice or any effort?

It is way nicer (more pleasant and more becoming) to be able to go over the day and be satisfied with your choices than to ignore and cut off the memory of the day, skipping this reflection, because you know you that you did poorly and want to avoid facing your mistakes.

When I sit with my journal at the end of the day, I do not spare myself criticism.

“Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself” – Marcus Aurelius

Strict on your self can be from much simpler points that compound and make someone a better person. For example be strict on what you eat, the media content you consume, the people you surround yourself with, fitness discipline. All of these examples actually cure depression.

Being compassionate with yourself is necessary as well. Understanding that you are not a robot and need to appreciate the love and joy in the your life because otherwise what is the point?

So when I sit with a pen and my journal, my reflections are not always so kind – but I learn how I can improve for the next day. I know the person I want to be and sometimes I am not behaving in a way that is going to help me become that version of Melinda that I desire. But wish for them to happen as they will as it is calming and allows the universe to do its job without me trying to manipulate it (and thinking I have more control over shit that I have NO control over).

There is something about hope, though… If you hope you have anxiety fear and worry about the future and you regret feel shame and guilt about the past you are anxious/worried/hopeful/fearful about a future you cannot know and regret/guilty/ashamed about a past you cannot change. All you can truly do is work on you in the now.

“Nothing in life matters quite as much as you think it does while you are thinking about it.”