when nothing is what is seems
Strangely, I think that is when everything is the most unambiguous. I smiled when those tiny aphids appeared. I see them for who they are. If you do not kill them quickly, they colonise and suck the juices out of your hard work. They are easy to kill, but you need to be diligent.
I was blind to the first few flying about but I see you now. Silly little nymph. 😉
oh what a little moonlight can do for you
Well, when you put it that way.
It has been a strange weekend. I had an odd date on Friday and late Saturday night I got a message that knocked might right off my poorly-manicured feet. Today was Mother’s Day and I got breakfast in bed made by Lu and Bowie ate most of it 😂
I walked in the forest and ran the news through my head and resigned to this: “I will not let this build up inside of me”
I came home and I made rose quartz paint.
I answered some emails (I had TONS) and I made chilli cheese fries for dinner. The fam got me a gluten-free fruit cake for dessert. I chatted with a friend I have not spoken to since Will died and put a banana bread in the oven for breakfast tomorrow.
I am exhausted.
It is only 6:45p and I am considering going to bed after I put Bowie down.
This week is promising to be something else. I can feel it already.
New moon ritual last night had me thinking
I have spent a lot of my energy hoping & praying for the return of a person and his love because it was familiar & I craved the person I was before Will.
Before I knew grief.
Before I knew how deep and dark that abyss truly was.
YES THAT LOVE WAS GOOD AND SWAM ON MY SKIN LIKE SUMMER BREEZE
but it is winter now
Nothing to left to reap
I have to start anew.
Going backwards only works if you are holding hands with velvet ribbons tied around both of your wrists while holding sprigs of juniper with her berries and person one is facing north and person two is facing south.
Seems silly since one of you still has to walk forwards.
I have been erasing and rewriting most things except him. I cannot seem to. The cards & the girls tell me he is a guaranteed fixture in my future. I cannot except that the way they want me to. If he wants to be in my life, lovely, be in it, if not, sod off & let me recast the role that you are to play.
I prefer to have a small production, you understand. Quality players, over quantity.