Forget about the post, the comments are where it is at!

I am deconstructing my livejournal. There is no reason for it to be online anymore. I stumbled upon a post that is nonsense but the comments are a RIOT (and no, I shall not reformat it!).

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:12:50


I always hated you anyway.


marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:14:19

yes, I thought maybe I was one of those french boys you were kissing and you did not call me back.


rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:16:08

I tried calling.. dagnammit!

I kept getting put through to someone called Madame Swish.. who was being very crude indeed.

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:17:48

I knew by the way you squeezed my thigh, that night, that you would never call.
and you said you loved me.

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:25:27

I mistook your thigh for a poodle… woof.

I meant it.. or maybe it was the panini talking.


marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:27:25

poodle! hmph! only if it is a hairless pup!
(this is where I say, “you do not like me, you like my doggie style!)

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:28:57

Of course.. that is what I meant to say..

(and this is where I always wonder why my nose is moist.)

*snuffles in you pants*

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:37:17

he makes sure that the topic has come up and the condom has come out before his zipper comes down.

The Coalition for Positive Sexuality (CPS) is a grassroots, not-for-profit, activist organization. CPS is funded through donations and grants. Please help us to continue providing teens with candid sex education materials, and this website, by sending your tax-deductable donation to:
PO Box 77212
Washington, DC 20013-7212
(773) 604-1654

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:38:13

Re: he makes sure that the topic has come up and the condom has come out before his zipper comes dow

Mwaaa haaa..

I would like to donate some sperm.

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:41:41

Roll up your sleeves, guys, and perform your patriotic duty. A national shortage of Canadian semen is stirring a call to arms.

Sperm bank inventories have drastically dwindled since Health Canada imposed a new set of stringent donor-testing requirements last March.

In desperation, infertile Canadian women are looking south to meet their fertility needs and becoming impregnated with an abundant supply of donated American sperm.

The regulations were imposed retroactively, forcing clinics to subject former donors to additional testing to preserve existing supplies. It proved a near impossible feat.

Consequently, years of sperm collections have either been destroyed or quarantined in the hope they will eventually be approved for use pending the development of new diagnostic tests.

The implementation of stricter Health Canada guidelines was hastened when a woman contracted chlamydia from a donor sample. The move forced the closure of 47 of the country’s estimated 57 labs which collect and screen semen.

The Canadian shortage has been further aggravated by a diminishing supply of suitable donors – especially in smaller centres, says Dr. Roger Pierson, past president of the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society.

Who needs sex, anyway?

“The pool of men willing to donate has been declining for quite a while,” says the Saskatchewan-based doctor. “Donors are paid between $20 to $40 per sample. We don’t buy sperm – the men are simply compensated for their time, parking and the hassles they go through.”

The motive is altruistic, not financial. New Health Canada regulations mean potential donors face a strict battery of tests to ensure their seed is up to scratch.

They’re exposed to substantial blood testing and a urine sample must be left with every donation to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, explains Pierson.

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:43:08


Dear god!

Eeep.. and crumbs.

Call to arms.. hehe..

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:44:11


I think you have found your calling…

go, fro-lick, go to canada…

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:47:38



Will you pay for my plane fare?

You could be my personal assistant.. heh.

Actually.. though.. I am going to Canadia at the start of next year.. to visit friends.


marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:49:54


we are looking into moving to Canada, the family and I.

I will assist! as long as my method of payment is not wet.

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:54:26


How exciting.. I am thinking of Ontario.. or near to Niagara Falls.. probably more likely to be Ontario though.

I promise here and now that your payment shall be as dry as a bone.

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 05:55:31


but wait… that would make me a very bad assistant…

rooraaah (from

October 6 2003, 05:57:29


Then I’ll sack you.. and throw your family onto the street where you can eek out a living brewing drinks out of tampons you find on the street and selling the resulting liquid to hobos.

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 06:06:04

how could I be a be assistant?
I am ghost dog, the ghetto ninja.
(my connection is giving me a trip,
so if this string pauses, do not fret)

marionettevirus (from

October 6 2003, 06:06:44

*that second be should be a bad. but whatevah.


untie me

I sit staring at my mobile. Three minutes I have spent trying to unscramble my thoughts. The screen displayed this message:

“I feel the same way about you.”

I can feel the smile tugging at my lips, but I suppress it. I question how he knew. I never told him. Was I that obvious? I thought I was being demure. He feels the same way about me? Hang on… how do I feel about him?

My heart thumps uncomfortably in my chest when I think of him, see him, touch him. I dream of him nearly every night (I let him think it is purely sexual). I spend hours of every day talking to him. It feels odd when I do not.

I was pretty sure I was imagining him having any attraction to me. I mean, why would he? He is gorgeous… goodness. He makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world…

even when we sit in the same room as his girlfriend.

Dilemma #1.