This morning was a/an _____________.

Will decided to stay in bed. Lu asked where he was, I told him, “Ssh, do not wake the princess”.

I smiled and rolled my eyes.

Later, he got up and fell asleep on the sofa.

I quickly walked up the stairs so I could try to catch an hour of sleep (I had a major anxiety attack yesterday – I feel like a wet rag today). He came up a few minutes later, weepy and mumbling something about a dream with him being Draco Malfoy in a boy band that murders people (?). He asked to be held, I did so (even though I was slightly annoyed – I had just fallen asleep). Then he got up, closed the door just loud enough for it to be deliberate, but not quite a door slam… he took his phone so I expected he was not coming back for a while​. I attemptedto ​ sleep to no avail. He came back, I gave up and got in the shower. He huffed and puffed when I got dressed… I cannot stand this passive-aggressive nonsense.

Needless to say, I put my boots on and walked right the fuck out the door. There are things to do today and I know if I wait for him, it will be like every other day… nothing (or very little) will get done.

Bah. What the fuck.

he is one of those boys,

you hold his face while you kiss him
numbers are dictation, dictators are numb.
the more i say the less you feel.
abandon age for pints and ounces, and let your ash-rimmed eyes fade to rivulets of african sand.
damn you for believing that blindness is sexy.
not that i should be surprised,
but i am ill.
not in the way my brain ticktocks but
in the way the room spins when i stand up
and the way i shiverandshake with no music on.
and i bet you are well again. i would like to believe
we shared germs,
which in turn,
makes illness a bit easier.
let me know when to call,
i think i will be ready soon.